I am currently sitting in a nail salon at 9:30 am getting a manicure and pedicure for my upcoming bodybuilding show. The workers are happily chatting in a language I cannot understand so I figured I would busy myself with a little writing…
I’ve held back from posing a lot about my prep for fear of getting judged and fear of instilling the wrong motivation for adopting a healthy lifestyle. This prep has been hard! But its been all I can think about recently. I am constantly checking my macros on my phone and counting down the hours till my next meal. Its challenged me a lot more mentally than I thought it would. I’ve been forced to look at my body in judgement focusing on areas that are retaining fat vs areas that are leaning out. Its also almost impossible to go out with friends because of my strict diet so my social life has also taken a bit of a hit. And quite frankly, most people just don’t get, i’m guessing that you don’t either…. not sure I get why I wanted to do this so bad myself.
This process has also reminded me why I started this project with Angie. I want to make sure that women never feel like they have to fit a specific body type. We are all strong and beautiful in our own way. Looking at other competitors on Instagram and comparing their amazing abs to mine has taken up an embarrassing amount of my time. I certainly don’t want others to feel like they should compare themselves to me!
Regardless of this constant criticism of my body over the last few weeks I am happy to say that I still love myself stage lean or not! This prep has been a strain on the positive image that took me so long to build of myself. like a lot of young girls growing up I struggled with my body image and self confidence. Now that I am a little older and wiser I have learned to love the body I have and how to take care of it. I am so proud of myself for maintaining my positive self image!
I am glad I went through this process! I think its good to find new ways to challenge yourself mentally as well as physically and this prep definitively accomplished that. However I am ready for this to be over!!! Will I do it again? Who knows… we will see how I feel after I step on that stage. I am also so excited to go out on my birthday with some of my closest friends and indulge a little after the show… ok… maybe indulge more than just a little! I am also excited to gain a couple pounds! I love that I can say that with a smile on my face!
Enjoy your weekend!